By Dr. Fabiano de Abreu Agrela Rodrigues
The search for autonomy and independence is an important milestone in any child’s development. However, when this search manifests itself excessively and prematurely, it can often be a warning sign of a deeper issue: a lack of parental attention.
Today’s society, marked by the rush and multiple responsibilities, has led many families to a scenario of emotional detachment. Parents, pressured by work and the demands of daily life, end up relegating emotional support and close contact with their children to the background. This creates a void that children, in their resilience, try to fill by developing a forced independence.
Studies reinforce this perception. The research by Saraiva and Wagner (2014) highlights how the lack of communication between school and parents contributes to children developing an exaggerated level of autonomy. When parents are not actively involved in their children’s school life and assessments, the children may seek independence as a way of dealing with the lack of emotional support and guidance.
Affective abandonment or emotional distancing, analyzed by Braga and Fuks (2013), shows that the lack of interest and emotional interaction can lead children to internalize the message that they need to be self-sufficient from an early age. This early autonomy, contrary to what it may seem, is not a positive sign of maturity, but rather a response to the lack of a safe and welcoming environment.
Another relevant point is the impact of parenting styles on children’s behavior. The study conducted by Souza, Rocha and Bergamini (2019) points out that lack of affection, excessive criticism and high demands can push children towards forced independence. Without the necessary support, children end up developing behaviors that reflect an attempt to meet their emotional needs alone.
Therefore, it is essential that parents understand that true, healthy autonomy is built on a solid foundation of support, dialogue and attention. Natural and beneficial independence arises when the child feels safe, supported and valued. When this security is lacking, independence can become a form of armor, a form of self-protection against feelings of abandonment.
More than ever, it is necessary to reclaim the role of parents as guides and supporters, offering not only material conditions but, above all, affection and an active presence in the development of their children. After all, true autonomy does not mean isolation, but rather the confidence to explore the world knowing that there will always be a safe haven to return to.
Dr. Fabiano de Abreu Agrela Rodrigues MRSB holds a post-PhD in Neuroscience and is an elected member of Sigma Xi – The Scientific Research Honor Society (more than 200 members of Sigma Xi have received the Nobel Prize), as well as being a member of the Society for Neuroscience in the United States, the Royal Society of Biology and The Royal Society of Medicine in the United Kingdom, the European Society of Human Genetics in Vienna, Austria, and the APA – American Philosophical Association in the United States. He holds a Master’s degree in Psychology and a Bachelor’s degree in History and Biology. He is also a Technologist in Anthropology and Philosophy, with several national and international degrees in Neuroscience and Neuropsychology. Dr. Fabiano is a member of prestigious high IQ societies, including Mensa International, Intertel, ISPE High IQ Society, Triple Nine Society, ISI-Society, and HELLIQ Society High IQ. He is the author of more than 300 scientific studies and 30 books. He is currently a visiting professor at PUCRS in Brazil, UNIFRANZ in Bolivia and Santander in Mexico. He also serves as Director of CPAH – Centro de Pesquisa e Análises Heráclito and is the creator of the GIP project, which estimates IQ through the analysis of genetic intelligence. Dr. Fabiano is also a registered journalist, having his name included in the book of records for achieving four records, one of which is for being the greatest creator of characters in the history of the press.